April 2012
69 posts
DID I SERIOUSLY JUST FIND THIS ON MY DASH.
- Me: *turns on radio*
- Taylor Swift: feels feels feels revenge slut-shaming more feels you broke my heart and now I'm making a catchy country tune about it yeah yeah yeah acoustic guitar
- Bruno Mars: suicidal thoughts and plaid and war zones and gratuitous morphine use pain angst hurt for some reason all my songs involve me unnecessarily dying for you
- Rihanna: no one cares what I'm singing about but you can assume it's a shitty metaphor for sex while I gyrate in little to no clothing on fake animals but at least it's stupidly catchy
- Every single rap artist: bitches hoes in da club lots of money she wants the dick all these songs are about clubbing and sex and does anyone honestly live this lifestyle outside of music videos
- Nick Minaj: hkjhkjhcw fweljfhwjhddljhd hfojencojen nieukjdh lots of fast talking in a weird accent ha ha ha pop culture reference I'm a feminist with lots of wigs and in case you haven't noticed BIG BOOBS I don't even know what I'm rapping about lol
- Me: *turns off radio*
Not a single one of your ancestors has ever failed in getting laid (Most people on tumblr will probably break the chain)
If you are 80 years old, you have lived through over 1/3 of America’s history
At one point, you were the youngest person in the world.
If a woman who is an only child has all boys (or no children at all), they are ending a chain of women that has been going since we were single-celled organisms.
The average human is a 28 year old Chinese man.
Dinosaurs were alive for longer than they have been extinct.
You breathe using just one nostril, then switch to the other 30 minutes later. Repeats for life. (After reading this pay attention)
In 30 or 40 years, people will be having 2000s parties. Just like now people throw “dress like the 70s” parties.
John Lennon is part of a group that has sold more CD’s than anyone else in the history of human life, and he never knew what a CD even was.
Grossness and morals define each other. For example, you won’t spit in the mouth of your girlfriend, yet you will kiss her.
You spend years seeing the same people often and you’ll never exchange words with them.
People hundreds of years from now will stumble upon your image without thought or emotion.
Everyone dies within six months of their birthday.
50% of all doctors graduated in the lower half of their class.
Mammals are just containers water uses to move itself from one place to another.
Many peoples most cherished beliefs come from 1st century writers and religious fanatics whose understanding of the natural world was below the level of a modern 5 year old.
The “food pyramid” that most of us grew up with was published by the US dept of agriculture. Their job is to promote agriculture, not to promote healthy eating.
80% of the images on the internet are of naked women.
If we ever meet superior aliens they will simply classify us under “violent, irrational apes” and will not be amazed by our art or philosophies, the same way we boringly classify newly discovered animals every year.
When the sun goes out, our descendants that watch it go out won’t be human.
When you’re about to die, you’ll regret all the days you took for granted.
We magnify the differences between us, instead of the things that make us similar. You are not really any different than anyone else on earth that is your age, yet you feel like you are just because they speak a different language, eat different food, worship a different imaginary creature, or live somewhere else. In reality, we are all the same species living on the same planet. To bears, we probably look exactly the same.
Tengo mi ultimo final mañana, dsps mi ultima practica y adios buenos momentos en Ponce :’)
JAJAAJJJ

